The Recap

So! I went on a date last night with That Guy From Church. He's super sweet, fresh outta the military and funny as hell!

That Guy has to be the MOST interesting person I've met in a long time. He took me to a swanky local eatery where we had the Chef's Tasting menu!! DELISH! Then it was off to Cirque where I just sat with my mouth open the entire time. They were AMAZING! That Guy really worked his ass off on this date (not to mention dropping some SERIOUS bank...but I try not to judge on that alone). Every door was opened for me and he pulled out my chair. He even stood when I left the table to use the Ladies Room!!!!

Final Thoughts:

1) It was really, Really, REALLY good! Dinner, conversation, company, show.....all good!

2) I got a good-night kiss!!

3) The guy's hooked! I had an email this morning and he called me on his lunch break to find out what I was doing next weekend. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! He's completely gaga.

Dating is so much fun! How could I have forgotten??? It's nice to know that even after 3 years of being off the market, I still got game! ;-) HA!

However, I have decided that I'm not looking for ANYTHING long-term right now. I want to date around and see what's out there. Some dinners, a few movies and maybe theater tickets are the only things I'm ready to commit to right now. If this guy's lookin' for a MRS. he's barkin' up the wrong tree. I'm just going to ride this out and see where things go.

Coming up this weekend? Tonight I'm taking the Little Bro to a Family Night event at my church. Tomorrow I'm going to his All-City Lutheran Church League CHAMPIONSHIP basketball game and then havin' a movie night with Baby Sis. Sunday is traditionally Forced Family Fun Day, so who knows what torture awaits?! Then come Monday it's off to my latest and greatest adventure.....FULL-TIME NANNY!!!

Later Taters! Have a wonderful weekend.

The One With All The Dates

Date Scenario #1:

Monday found me walking around the mall with my good girlfriend, Blondie, from church. While we're meandering through Macy's, Blondie's cell phone rings. I assume it's her Dr. Fiance making sure she's not spending his ENTIRE year's salary so I wander further away. All of a sudden I hear her giving out MY cell phone number. I rush over trying to get a sense for why she's giving out my number to her fiance but she's just hanging up when I get to her.

Cass: WTF, mate?
Blondie: That was Dr. Fiance. He needed your cell phone number b/c A Guy from Church wanted it.
Cass: Interesting!!

Fast forward about 35 minutes. My cell phone starts ringing and it's a number I don't recognize. Blondie checks my caller ID and tells me to go ahead and answer it.

Cass: Hello?
That Guy from Church: Hey, Cass? This is That Guy.
Cass: Hey. What's up?
That Guy: Not a whole lot but I just bought these two tickets for Cirque du Soleil on Thursday. I was hoping you'd be my date.
Cass: *stunned silence*
That Guy: Hello?
Cass: Yup, yeah, uhhhhh. Yeah, that would be great!
That Guy: Great! I'll pick you up at quarter to six so we can get some dinner before the show.
Cass: Okay! Sure! Yeah! See you then!
That Guy: Okay, bye.

Needless to say, Blondie made fun of the face I made after he asked me for about 45 minutes. She described it as "ecstatic horror"!


Date Scenario #2: This is the one that confuses me. I mean, it's not REALLY a date, right?

It's Sunday after church and The Crew is trying to figure out where we wanna go for lunch.

Cass: I'm not picky as long as it's cheap! I'm broke and I don't wanna borrow cash....again.
Blondie: Let's do Steak and Shake then. You can just order a Coke and we'll get fries for the table for you to nibble on.
Cass: Sounds good to me. I'll be in charge of organizing who's going in which car. Just let me know who all is going.

*Move to other side of room where Dr. Fiance is chattin' with some of the guys from The Crew*
**And this part of the convo is sort of made up....I wasn't really there to hear it but Blondie filled me in on the details later**

Dr. Fiance: So, Dr. #2 are you going with us to lunch?
Dr. #2: No. I feel like crap. I think it's a sinus infection.
Dr. Fiance: That's fine we're not really going anywhere fancy; just Steak and Shake on Main St. You could just stop by for a little bit if you want. Let Cass know if you wanna carpool.
Dr. #2: Cass is going? I guess I could bop in for a bit.

*Fast forward to lunch* Dr. #2 has seated himself across from me and is monopolizing all of my attention....not that I was complaining! He's REALLY cute.

Dr. #2: Cass, aren't you going to order lunch?
Cass: No, just a Coke and I'll munch on the fries for the table.
Dr. #2: That's ridiculous! Just order something. I've got it.
Cass: No, really. It's okay. I'm fine.
Dr. #2: Seriously, my treat! Get whatever you want.
Cass: Well, if you're sure. Fine.

Lunch is great and Dr. #2 and I spend the rest of the time getting to know one another. However...

Cass: Why aren't you eating??
Dr.#2: To be honest, I feel like crap. I have a horrible head cold and everything just takes like paper.
Cass: Awww! I hate that! If you feel so bad why don't you head out.
Dr. #2: No, that's alright. I'll leave when the group does.

Lunch and conversations continue. But poor Dr.#2 starts to look just awful! His eyes are watering and I can tell his sinuses are killing him. Finally, The Crew wraps up and we all head to the register.

Dr. #2 pays for his lunch and mine. I thank him profusely. He tells me it's not a problem and that he looks forward to seeing me on Thursday night for small group.

Later that evening on the phone, Blondie fills in the missing details about how Dr. #2 wasn't really going to show up until he heard that I was going to be there.

INTERESTING!!!! Could this be the quiet, underwhelming beginning to a parade?!?!?!?

Ten Things Tuesday

Things I Have Discovered/REdiscovered About Myself Since Breaking Up with SMF


1) I love being out with people. Special Man Friend was a hardcore homebody! In the three years we were dating I completely forgot what it was like to go out and socialize in groups of people. I totally lost touch with some long-time friends but they have since forgiven me for ditching them for a guy and we're all caught back up and havin' a gay ole time together.

2) I am obsessed with Lady Gaga's album! ("Just Dance" is on REPEAT on my iTunes....as I type!) Due to the fact that he was a church musician, SMF was not totally up to date with the latest tunes hittin' the radiowaves. I realized he and I were doomed when I was condemned for rocking out to Britney's "Womanizer" vid when she was making her comeback last year! HE MADE ME GIVE UP ON BRIT!!!!! Obviously he HAD to go.

3) While I'm not a hardcore partier by any stretch of the imagination, occasionally I do like to head out with the (newly legal!) Baby Sis and have a Penis-Free good time at some local establishments. SMF was so staunchly against barhopping of any kind, I promptly became a born-again tea-totaler when we started dating. I knew what I was giving up beforehand; he made it very clear on date #1. And with my struggles with alcohol BARELY behind me, I figured the sacrifice was more than appropriate. But now that I have the self-respect to have self-control, I find going out with Baby Sis is really notta problem.

4) I get exactly what I want. While SMF whined, cried, begged, pouted, pestered and withheld sex, all in an attempt to "teach me a lesson", I still somehow managed to get exactly what I wanted. Half of the time it was because SMF realized that he was just being ridiculous and doing those things merely to annoy me. The other half of the time I just put my mind to it and persevered. The EXACT car I wanted??? Bought it for cash. My engraved iPod? Picked up a couple extra baby-sitting gigs and paid cash. The classic Tiffany toggle bracelet? Cash. So while I may have expensive tastes, I get exactly what I want. (And if I happen to be dating a guy who's willing to buy those things???? YAY!)

5) I have worked harder than I have ever before in my life and loved it! After SMF called it quits and before I found myself forcibly unemployed, I had a job I LOVED!!!! It was a position that came out of the blue and I stepped into it scared shitless that I was going to muck it up horribly! I worked harder at that job than I had EVER worked in my life. I worked 52+ hours a week and woke every morning itching to get back on the clock! Before that I had been so focused on "building a life" with SMF that I would have NEVER considered taking the position because of all the time and energy it would have taken from our relationship. I shudder to think...

6)I'm still worried that I'm not going to find THE ONE. However, it's no longer something that consumes my every thought. I was so worried, when SMF and I were dating and seriously discussing marriage, that I had somehow managed to miss my one true love. (I guess that should have been a HUGE hint that I wasn't ready to settle down.)

7) I am not as emotionally secure as I once felt I was. (Please forgive the bad grammar in the previous statement. In the Chi-town area, ending a sentence with a preposition is TOTALLY kosher....just roll with it!) My self-confidence and sense of security were greatly shaken when SMF announced that we should "really think about where we're headed as a couple". I can't say that it was TOTALLY out of the blue but I had done an effing good job of suppressing any inklings of doubt in our relationship.

8) I didn't realize how much I missed RAISINS!!! Their wrinkly little presences were forbidden to even cross the threshold of SMF's apartment. Oatmeal raisin cookies? No! Raisin Bran? Get the fuck out! Now that I have those little suckers back in my life, I am more thrilled (and regular) than I have been for the last three years.

9) I like screening my calls. During our relationship, if I ever missed his call (aka I ignored it b/c I was too wrapped up in my CSI/Will & Grace/Chelsea Lately episode) SMF would FREAK THE FUCK OUT! The boy acted like being forced to leave a voicemail was the highest form of degradation a person could ever be subjected to. Now when my cell rings I take great pleasure in making the caller leave a voicemail.....just because I can! I particularly love making SMF leave a voicemail when he's calling to "check-in and see how things are going" (aka brag about how much sex he's having with his newest love interest).

10) I don't need a guy in my life to feel fulfilled as a woman. I wish I felt this way 24/7/365, but I'm not there yet. I would say I'm at 22/6.5/300. I am building myself up slowly but surely. To help my effort, I've decided to keep a copy of this Ten Things list on paper in my purse and every time I'm out and think of something that fits this category, I am going to jot it down. No matter how insignificant the item may seem, every time I recognize something, I want myself to see how well off I really am!

I'm Finally Employed!

I just found out about an hour ago that I am newly employed! I am going to be the full-time live-out nanny for a wonderful family here in town. The hours are consistent and I'll have nights and weekends off!!! I really couldn't ask for a better gig. The family is totally cool with me starting classes in the fall. I was going to start this summer but the family owns their own string of garden stores so this summer will be a little nutty in regards to starting classes.

I'm totally stoked! I loved my summer gig as a live-in nanny and I look forward to helping another family grow. The kids are 4, 4, and 3 so I'm sure I will have plenty of wacky stories to share.


P.S. I think I went on a date yesterday. More on that later and why there could be confusion. ;-) LIFE IS LOOKIN' UP AGAIN FOLKS!!!

Thanks for the link Mrs. Chili! Go on, you do it too! Everyone else did!!!


Now I just need to figure out if I avenge purity or if I just purely avenge wrongs! HA.

And something tells me if my rack REALLY looked like that I would have NO PROBLEM getting the Hottie Parade started.

Season Two, Episode 1

So how did SMF and I finally end it??? Not easily that's for sure! (But when are those things ever EASY?!??!?)

So, for entertainment's sake I'm going to provide a timeline that should vaguely recreate my Achy Breaky Heart's Journey to Healing....sort of.

Day 1: Sob. Sob sob sob. Google "nooses" and "proper method of tying."

Day 2: SOB SOB SOB OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO DIE. BABY SIS, TIE ME A NOOSE.

Day 3 - Day 10: Etc.

Day 11: Um, fuck this. Kind of. But, additionally: SOB.

Day 12: Ooo, love those shoes! You know, mourning is...boring, a little. Hmm.

Day 13: Actually? Fuck this hard. No more mourning! I am buying me some lady shoes!

Day 14: NO SERIOUSLY. YOU GUYS, KNOW WHAT. I HAVE MADE A COMMAND DECISION HERE. NO MORE MOURNING. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.

Day 15: YEAH.

Day 16-18: Yeeeaaaah.

(sob.)

Day 19: NO THAT IS RIGHT. FUCK THIS AGAIN. I hereby decide that from now on, ALL I WANT is to be happy. It is time for a shift in perspective! Shift shift shift! I am going to just be happy, with a minimum of sobbing, and a maximum of new shoes. HA. That is called "having goals."

Day 20: Here I am, minding my own business and enjoying my newly shifted perspective! Vegging while reading emails when I come across an email from SMF. Sobbing ensues.

Day 21: What does he MEAN he MIGHT have made a mistake?!?!?!? What a #$@#%!! Baby Sis, come here and help me write an email response that doesn't make me sound clingy and sobby.

Day 21, Part II: OMG!!! Baby Sis, he responded!! Quick! Open it....tell me what it says. Hang on! Don't! But maybe...yes, go ahead. Wait! We have Ben & Jerry's right?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE SAID IT WAS A DRUNK EMAIL?!?!?!?!? Who does that??!?!?!? SOB!

Day 22 - Day 28: ((insert regression here)) Oh, and...SOB!

Day 29 - Day 40: Alright! Here we are, Baby Sis! At the gym! Executing plan "Fuck You SMF! Look, I'm Still Hot! And I'll Prove It When I Shed These 10 Extra Ben & Jerry's Pounds!"

Day 41 - 50: Okay, enough with the gym. I'm moving on! Let the shoe shopping and the parade of hot successful men beating down my door commence!

So here I am, Day Eleventy Billion, still waiting for the Hot Parade to start. Although, I'm not really all that enthusiastic to hit the dating scene.

I'm finally enjoying singledom!!! For the first time in FIVE years I do NOT have to worry about someone else's feelings or needs!! I can go to bed without having a long, drawn out tucking in phone call. I can disappear to the Library for hours on end (did I mention I'm unemployed again?) and have no one pester me with text messages. I love that when I DO occasionally make eyes at the hottie behind the S*Bux counter I don't have to feel guilty. And when a guy at the local brewery tells me I have a cute smile, I can flirt shamelessly and ENJOY IT!

As far as blogging is concerned, I think it took me so long to make it back here because I had lived a certain life here for all of you and somehow I thought it was going to be different without SMF in it. Like, I wouldn't have anything funny or valuable to write about without him in my life.

And all of my stewing and self-examination had finally shown me that was how I had been LIVING my life as well! My self-worth had slowly been determined by how much he cared about me. And that is never a good place to be. So, things had to change....and boy did they!

So now, I live in IL and SMF has moved out to Norfolk, VA. Things ended on good terms and for no REAL reason other than the fact that both of us were looking for different things. We were perfect for one another during a very specific time in our lives. And now, we were no longer those same people....in fact, we were hindering each other's personal growth. We decided that we both wanted the other person to be happier than we were and therefore we both needed to go our separate ways in search of that happiness.

And now I'm back to living my life how I see fit. Everyday things seem a little brighter and my future is not so uncertain. I have plans to start at the local community college in the summer and I want to finish my degree in 18 months.

Things have certainly changed a lot since the last time we tuned in but I believe Season 2 is going to be infinitely better than last season. New plot lines, new characters and OF COURSE the ensuing drama when I finally DO decide to pursue the hotties.

Check ya later friends,
~Cass

It seems that I can only find the motivation to write when I am in some sort of crisis. I wish this weren't the case but seeing how it is....I'm writing again.

Let's see where I've ended up:

1) I am living full-time here in Rockford, IL. (More on what I'm doing with my time later.)

2) Special Man Friend is now an ex....as of October 13. (Happy Birthday to him!! LOL!)

3) I am jobless once again!!!

4) I'm going back to school to finish my degree (or die tryin)!


Those seem to be the biggest four issues in my life right now. I'm sure long-winded and rambling details will follow sometime in the near future.


P.S. SMF has started dated again!!!!!!!!!!! I, on the other hand, haven't been asked out ONCE yet! The ego is mildly bruised (as you can imagine).