Things I've Picked Up Along the Way

1) Guys are wonderful and hurtful and loving and dumb and fun to be around and annoy the crap out of you and are fun to look at and pull your ponytail and don’t have cooties and are really gross and break your heart and love you to pieces.

2) A college student IS physically capable of being awake AND functional by 7:30 AM. It’s neither fun nor pretty but it IS possible.

3) Chips last a lot longer if you keep the bag closed.

4) PMS sucks…always.

5) High School is not the end of the world, or the greatest years of your life...neither is college.

6) Call when you say you’re going to.

7) Don’t eat Crayons…or Play-Doh.

8) The best way to sleep is with the window open, rain falling and a warm body next to you.

9) Forever can be short…or long, depending on how you look at it and who you have to spend it with.

10) It's more fun to go to the mall and not buy a thing…just watch the people.

11) Parents are fantastic to keep around for advice, but their opinions shouldn’t be the end all, be all of your existence.

12) We should use the word “fantastic” more often.

13) Therapists are a wonderful thing. Everyone should see one at some point.

14) Having a baby isn’t nearly as scary as you think it would be…placing her for adoption is.

15) ‘Guy World’ is a very, very, very scary place. When you find that one great guy who can give you an honest glimpse into it, be warned…it’s frightening.

16) Learn from your mistakes. There are so many to make, it sucks when you keep making the same ones over and over.

17) “Your” and “you’re” are two very, very different words…make sure you know the difference. (No one makes me CRAZIER than a person that screws this up!!)

18) Life is a lot more like a merry-go-round than some people want to admit.

19) Always be the teacher’s pet…always. It can never HURT you.

20) Be aggressive in buffet lines.

21) Sharing is caring. OVER-sharing is just plain rude.

22) Girls are fickle…always…for the rest of your life.

23) Barbie does not create an unhealthy body image…our parents do.

24) Speak your mind, but don’t do it in a way that makes people want to slap you.

25) Girls talk about poop, passing gas, raunchy sex and other disgusting/not girly things!

26) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a little taste of heaven on earth when made just right.

27) We are ALL our own flavor of dork.

28) Stepping out in blind faith can be thrilling, terrifying, relaxing, and liberating…all at the same time.

29) Girls pick out their clothes for the first day of school months in advance. Boys do it that same day…you can tell.

30) Girls want to have sex just as much as guys do, we’re just more suave about the whole thing.

31) There is no “S” at the end of ‘anyway’.

32) I’ve NEVER known what it’s like to work a 9-5 job…neither have any of my parents.

33) I have been blessed with the gift of intuitiveness…and the gift of gab.

34) Parents are human...so are professors.

35) After a certain time at night you start to see double…regardless of whether or not you’ve been drinking.