Ten Things Tuesday

Things I Have Discovered/REdiscovered About Myself Since Breaking Up with SMF


1) I love being out with people. Special Man Friend was a hardcore homebody! In the three years we were dating I completely forgot what it was like to go out and socialize in groups of people. I totally lost touch with some long-time friends but they have since forgiven me for ditching them for a guy and we're all caught back up and havin' a gay ole time together.

2) I am obsessed with Lady Gaga's album! ("Just Dance" is on REPEAT on my iTunes....as I type!) Due to the fact that he was a church musician, SMF was not totally up to date with the latest tunes hittin' the radiowaves. I realized he and I were doomed when I was condemned for rocking out to Britney's "Womanizer" vid when she was making her comeback last year! HE MADE ME GIVE UP ON BRIT!!!!! Obviously he HAD to go.

3) While I'm not a hardcore partier by any stretch of the imagination, occasionally I do like to head out with the (newly legal!) Baby Sis and have a Penis-Free good time at some local establishments. SMF was so staunchly against barhopping of any kind, I promptly became a born-again tea-totaler when we started dating. I knew what I was giving up beforehand; he made it very clear on date #1. And with my struggles with alcohol BARELY behind me, I figured the sacrifice was more than appropriate. But now that I have the self-respect to have self-control, I find going out with Baby Sis is really notta problem.

4) I get exactly what I want. While SMF whined, cried, begged, pouted, pestered and withheld sex, all in an attempt to "teach me a lesson", I still somehow managed to get exactly what I wanted. Half of the time it was because SMF realized that he was just being ridiculous and doing those things merely to annoy me. The other half of the time I just put my mind to it and persevered. The EXACT car I wanted??? Bought it for cash. My engraved iPod? Picked up a couple extra baby-sitting gigs and paid cash. The classic Tiffany toggle bracelet? Cash. So while I may have expensive tastes, I get exactly what I want. (And if I happen to be dating a guy who's willing to buy those things???? YAY!)

5) I have worked harder than I have ever before in my life and loved it! After SMF called it quits and before I found myself forcibly unemployed, I had a job I LOVED!!!! It was a position that came out of the blue and I stepped into it scared shitless that I was going to muck it up horribly! I worked harder at that job than I had EVER worked in my life. I worked 52+ hours a week and woke every morning itching to get back on the clock! Before that I had been so focused on "building a life" with SMF that I would have NEVER considered taking the position because of all the time and energy it would have taken from our relationship. I shudder to think...

6)I'm still worried that I'm not going to find THE ONE. However, it's no longer something that consumes my every thought. I was so worried, when SMF and I were dating and seriously discussing marriage, that I had somehow managed to miss my one true love. (I guess that should have been a HUGE hint that I wasn't ready to settle down.)

7) I am not as emotionally secure as I once felt I was. (Please forgive the bad grammar in the previous statement. In the Chi-town area, ending a sentence with a preposition is TOTALLY kosher....just roll with it!) My self-confidence and sense of security were greatly shaken when SMF announced that we should "really think about where we're headed as a couple". I can't say that it was TOTALLY out of the blue but I had done an effing good job of suppressing any inklings of doubt in our relationship.

8) I didn't realize how much I missed RAISINS!!! Their wrinkly little presences were forbidden to even cross the threshold of SMF's apartment. Oatmeal raisin cookies? No! Raisin Bran? Get the fuck out! Now that I have those little suckers back in my life, I am more thrilled (and regular) than I have been for the last three years.

9) I like screening my calls. During our relationship, if I ever missed his call (aka I ignored it b/c I was too wrapped up in my CSI/Will & Grace/Chelsea Lately episode) SMF would FREAK THE FUCK OUT! The boy acted like being forced to leave a voicemail was the highest form of degradation a person could ever be subjected to. Now when my cell rings I take great pleasure in making the caller leave a voicemail.....just because I can! I particularly love making SMF leave a voicemail when he's calling to "check-in and see how things are going" (aka brag about how much sex he's having with his newest love interest).

10) I don't need a guy in my life to feel fulfilled as a woman. I wish I felt this way 24/7/365, but I'm not there yet. I would say I'm at 22/6.5/300. I am building myself up slowly but surely. To help my effort, I've decided to keep a copy of this Ten Things list on paper in my purse and every time I'm out and think of something that fits this category, I am going to jot it down. No matter how insignificant the item may seem, every time I recognize something, I want myself to see how well off I really am!