The One in Which I LOSE MY MIND!
Okay...I actually had to sit down and roll up my sleeves for this one. I need to do a lottle (not a little but a lottle...) ranting!!
To My Dearest and Lovliest Choir Director,
IF THAT F-ING SNOT-NOSED FRESHMAN GETS THE SOLO IN CHOIR, I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS!!!!!!
I'm not kidding here dearest Choir Director, sir. I auditioned for this department last year and you awarded me a $120,000 scholarship to sing. Remember that???
Yeah.....so get the idea of this FROSHY doing the solo out of your little pea-brain and let's get serious here. We leave on tour in EIGHT days and we need to know who's doing this solo. Don't make me come after you...
You asked today in rehearsal who had the depth and soul to do this solo and the choir spoke. Did you hear the name they said??? Were you there?!?!? "Let Cass do it!"; "Cassie!!"; "I figured Cass was doing it." REMEMBER THAT MOMENT?!?!?
Obviously I am MUCH too humble to just walk up to the front and take the mic after I heard my name. I allowed you the opportunity to make up your mind, but then you did this REALLY bizarre thing!! You avoided all eye contact with and called out FROSHY'S name!!!!! That little wench waltzed up to that mic like she owned the place. She thinks just because she can sing a dotted syncopated rhythm she's something to write home about! Are you kidding me?!? Every time I HEAR HER SPEAK she's bragging about her past choir experience but what you, my dear director, seem to forget is that it doesn't matter....I'M BETTER!! I was in my first professional choir the YEAR SHE WAS F-ING BORN!!!! I mean, really!!
Do I need to strut around and spout my credentials? Do I need to tell you I have sung with 6 professional orchestras? Do you REALLY need to know that I was named Best State Soloist 2 years running? Is that what you need? Or is she just spending her lunch hour under your desk?!?!? I don't want to point fingers but WHY ARE WE EVEN DISCUSSING THIS?!? It is common knowledge that freshmen don't get solos. That's just how the world works!
Well Mr. Director, you better not be freaking surprised when I show up in your office dressed in my Cute clothes looking to "just sing through some things really quick". I can play THIS game! If nothing else, in all my years as a competitive singer....I HAVE LEARNED HOW TO COMPETE!
PS: Who are we kidding? The pink suits me.
1 comment:
Yikes! Keep us posted on how this all shakes out...
I get frustrated with Mr. Chili sometimes. He's a brilliant, competent, creative engineer who is consistently passed over for projects because he does all his brilliant, competant, creative engineering stuff without calling attention to himself. He believes that if he does his work well, he'll generate enough notice. Sadly, though, that's not how it works.
I say, strut your stuff a litte - or at LEAST have a meeting with the director - one to which you bring your CV so he can be reminded of your experience and credentials. DO NOT lay down for this - that part should be yours...
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