I'm A REAL Update

Well, you know how it goes. Life throws you a curve ball and you duck, fall on the ground, and lay there stunned for a while. Thankfully the curve ball wasn't necessarily BAD just...different.

First off, I am LOVING my job. The first two weeks were a little rough while I settled into the idea of not being as mentally stimulated as I would like to be at my work. When the oldest person you talk to during the day has only begun exploring the concept of complete sentences in the last twenty-four months, your job CAN BE a little under-stimulating! However, I have finally settled in and am now loving my days with those wee ones.

The two-year old is still cracking me up. Just the other day she walked up to me with her finger up her nose and told me, "Cassie! I can't git it out!" And believe it or not, she wasn't talking about her finger! Rather, she was giving me an update on a stubborn booger she had been fishing out for the past hour. Right now I'm just hoping that this job won't permanently kill any desires I may have had for children of my own. I also have a new found respect for stay-at-home Moms!!! (Oh my goodness, I don't think I have the mental strength to do it.) We'll see if that changes when they're my own!

As far as my living situation is concerned, I'm still at home with the parents. And truly hating every minute of it! In fact, just today I had a little power tussle with my Dad when he stuck his head in my door and asked if I was going to, "leave that bed" any time today. "Of course Dad! When I leave at 6:00 tonight to go to small group." was NOT the answer he was looking for apparently. (I happen to get Thursdays and Fridays off from the job. The family hired a part-time girl to work those days.) It makes my parents nuts that on my "weekends" I'd rather just slug around.

HOWEVER!!!! I may have a lead on a possible apartment. The guy my sister nannies with on the other side of town, is looking for a roomie! In fact, his rent would be $100 cheaper than the rent I'm paying here at my parents'. He and I have become fast friends over the past three months and we could totally live with one another and not want to slit our wrists.

There is only ONE huge obstacle to this possible arrangement.
"You're secretly in love with him?" you ask. Nope! Totally platonic.
"He's a total slob?" No way! Neat as a pin.
"Well then he's a total womanizer and you'll have to deal with his revolving front door!" Actually Sam is a perfect gentleman and is between relationships right now.

So what's the problem? He has a cat!!! And while I am nearly perfect in every way, I do happen to have a severe sensitivity to cat dander. Plus...I hate cats; HIS cat in particular! I have been over to his place numerous times and my allergy meds can head off the WORST symptoms (still some eye itchiness) but his cat is an asshole! We have a mutual hate for one another. In fact, the very first time I EVER visited, the cat shit in my shoe!!!! Not joking...little steaming cat turds were in my shoe. It's been all downhill since then. I've tried feeding it, giving it treats, speaking nicely and petting it. All these attempts have been greeted by hissing, scratching, biting and I was sprayed once.

Sam is completely bewildered. Apparently Shithead usually LOVES girls! He has loved every one of Sam's exes and has never acted this hostile ever in his life. Sam adopted this cat as a kitten from the litter Sam's parents' cats had a little over a year ago. Ironically, Sam's parents' cats LOVE me! (We went over there just to test and see if there was any "genetic" linking to the Cassie hatred. There wasn't.) I jokingly asked Sam if he could trade Shithead for one of the Nice cats from his parents and once again I was hissed at and bit....this time it was Sam. So, right now my moving out is in a holding pattern....because of a cat!

Lastly, an update on the love life. For a while there I was having a little fun with a doctor friend of mine from church but I was really only dating him for the free food and to have a standing date on the weekends. He, on the other hand, was looking for something much more serious so we parted ways. I am just not ready to be anyone's girlfriend! (I am enjoying my freedom.)

There was also a change on the Ex-Special Man Friend front. Ever since he and I had called it quits back in October, we promised to remain "just friends". Sexually it was really easy to do because we are zillions of miles apart from one another, but emotionally, you don't just go from lovers to friends in one phone call. We were still talking everyday. He was still the first person I called whenever something big happened in my life and I was still his most trusted sounding board for all that was going on in his life.

So, on April 1, I decided to take a 90-day hiatus from all communication with him. I told him I needed to get my heart back! He was such an enormous part of my life that when he left for Virginia I felt like I was left with only half of myself...and not the good half! He agreed and we haven't spoken since. It has been incredibly weird not to talk to him everyday. For the first couple days I erased hundreds of text messages that I started out of habit. I found falling asleep almost impossible without my nightly tucking in phone call from him. I still shed some tears over the hole that's in my life right now but that hole will naturally fill-in as I continue to fill my life with new friends, new challenges and new adventures.

I have so much to look forward to I find myself getting up in the morning ANTICIPATING the things on the horizon. I am so very blessed (asshole cats and over-bearing parents aside). All in all, I am very much in love with my life right now. Could I imagine myself in a different life with different choices being made and with SMF still in it? Absolutely! Those images are never far from my imagination. But would I WANT that life? I can honestly say, no. And that's the point! I love my life just as it is and I can't wait to see what's in store around the next corner.

So take that, Life! Pitch all the curve balls you want...this girl will ALWAYS get back up to bat.