The One with the Tickets and the Linebacker!

Special Man Friend has TICKETS!!! Woo hoo!!!! I am so excited!

I have no idea what they're for!! All I know is that he has them!! YAY! YAY! YAY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It goes something like this....

SMF sent me to the closet to grab his wallet so he could pay the pizza guy. I grabbed everything in his coat pocket and handed him the wallet. I put the rest of the stuff on the coffee table and promptly forgot about it. (HEY! It was Papa John's Thin Crust...you'd forget what you were doing too!)

Later as we were settling in to watch the football we had TiVo'd (might I add that MY TEAM BENT HIS TEAM OVER A CHAIR, YO!!), I reached over to start going through the stuff from his pockets and putting everything back in its proper place. Receipts go in the accordian file, church stuff gets filed into the circular file, and car keys go in the dish by the door.

Finally I reached a little envelope. It had the Ticketmaster logo on the front.

"Hey babe, what are these tickets for?"

Next thing I know, I was transported into the football game on TV! I was the quaterback and I was being sacked by a 300lb linebacker running at eleventy billion miles an hour! HOLY MASHED CASSIE, BATMAN!!

SMF came flying out of the kitchen behind me like the stove was about to blow up! He took that couch in one leap and slammed into me like a Mack truck. We both went flinging to the floor where he ripped the envelope out of my hands.

I sat up slowly and tried to force my poor little brain back into coherent thoughts. I promptly let out a string of curse words while I picked myself up out of a giant puddle of Coke.

"What the F*CK are you doing?!?"

"Cass...language."

"Don't start with me you nut job!!! What the hell was that about?!? You could have just said, Don't open that!"

"Uh huh....like that would have stopped you."

((Okay...so he had a point there.)) He disappeared into the office and I heard file cabinets open and close.

"I got us tickets."

"Obviously. I'm taking it that you want it to be a surprise??"

"Did your Spidey Senses tell you that??"

"Those, and you flying through the air like a PSYCHO person!! Can I have hints about what they're for?"

"They're for getting in the door....mystery solved."

"Thanks. But for what? Ballet? Opera? Musical Theater? Concert?"

"The WWE is coming to town."

"Fine...be that way. I'm going to go change. It seems I spilled some Coke." [insert Angry Eyes here]

"That's fine, but those tickets are going to my business office first thing Monday morning."




DAMN!

The One That's REALLY Just Plain Random

I was having a discussion with Special Man Friend over the phone that went something like this:

I have completely given up hope of EVER getting ANY homework done at your apartment.

It's not my fault, Miss Procrastination!

I didn't say it was. I'm just saying...I always have the best intentions and they never come to fruition

Who SAYS that?!

Says what?

Fruition?? Who SAYS that?!

You know you're getting The Look, right?

Yeah. You know what though?

Hmm?

You might not get any homework done, but we get REALLY good naps done!

Ha! So THAT'S what happened to my GPA last semester???

The One with ANOTHER List

How A Girl (No One WE Know...Just Some Random Girl) Knows It's Time to Shave Her Legs

1. Her boyfriend mentions she hasn't worn a skirt to church in a REALLY long time.

2. She can't fall asleep at night because she's being annoyed by the sheets getting caught on her legs.

3. She can't remember which end of the razor is the sharp end. (**She sticks bleeding finger back in her mouth**)

4. She needs to wear shorts in below zero weather because her legs are sweating so much.

5. She's embarassed to get in bed....with HERSELF!

6. She needs to exfoliate for a good five minutes just to soften the skin enough to lather up shave gel.

And last but not least....

7. She needs LAST YEAR'S calendar to check the date of the last "Shaved Legs Required" social event. (This may also point to the fact that said Girl needs to get a life, but that's a different blog entry entirely!)


Like I said, this is just some random girl you may see walking down the streets. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to pull these little Kleenex band-aids off and get to class.


I'm off....like a herd of turtles!

The One That has The Test and The Whining...Oh, THE WHINING!

Dear Professor English,

You are slowly and quite painfully making my brain melt. YER KILLING ME!!!!!


I may ACTUALLY learn something in your class!!


And I like it.

Sincerely,
Cassie


Hello gentle readers.

I just got in from trekking my way across the frozen tundra affectionately known as "my campus". (Where did that Global Warming go?!? I did NOT order this weather. I have a copy of my receipt to prove it!) Anyway...I was in Prof English's class and we took his first exam.

It was ugly....many wounded....most left for dead on the classroom floor! Oh the stress! Tears! Wailing! Gnashing of teeth!!

Here's the thing, it's not that we were not properly prepared (Okay so that COULD be part of the problem. Also, my use of a double negative could be a problem too). It's just that his exam was as intense as his class!!!

How unfair is that?!? Exams are supposed to be easy. You (professors) spoon feed us the information and then we (students) dutifully regurgitate it for you back onto your exam....sometimes word for word.

But NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Prof English decides he's gonnna make us, like, analyze and stuff. Hey now! None of that!

He used the exam questions to make us think as critically as we do in class! ON! HIS! TEST!! Did you read what I just wrote?!? He's making us think on an exam!! Let that soak in for a second. Go back and re-read if you need to. I'll wait..... See it?!? HE MADE US THINK!!!

Basically he asked us to use his notes from class as a filter for what we were reading in the book then combine the two on his exam. Can you believe the nerve of this guy?!

First he wrote out some scenarios and asked us to identify them as an Argument, Persuasion, or Propaganda. Then he asked us to "support our claim". Basically...."Why?" (PS: As students we hate the "Why?" clause on questions....it makes the regurgitation process more difficult. Just so you know!)

His scenarios were: 1. A marriage proposal. 2. A Geometry proof. 3. The President's State of the Union Address. 4. An advertisement by a chemical company supporting environmental awareness.

Alright...not so scary. You can get away with regurgitating here. Moving on.

The next section was the short answer part. He gave us the elements of argumentation and we had to write one paragraph describing the attributes for each. Ugh....hand cramps!! Boo.

Still pretty simple.

Now we start to sweat a little.

This section was the most challenging. He gave us a table and across the top of the of the columns, were the words: PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE. Then he supplied us with lists of three words each. For example: POLICIES, FACTS, VALUES. Our task was to take the three words and place them under the heading that best describes the order of the words. So my answer looked like: FACTS, VALUES, POLICIES. (Facts from past scenarios dictate the values we hold today and we set up policies to protect those values in the future.) THERE WERE SIX OF THOSE!!! One of the lists was DELIBERATIVE, FORENSIC, EPIDEICTIC!!! WTF?! Thinking again?!?!? What?! Even though most of us had NEVER heard these words, we had to decide?!? STOP WITH THE CRITICAL THINKING!!!

So after we limp out of that section, we flip the test over to find.....GRAMMAR LESSONS*?? Hold up here buddy! We didn't even DISCUSS grammar!! Notta once! I have the scrupulous notes of every word you said in class and you never even TOUGHT the word GRAMMAR!! No fair. You are expecting us to rely on knowledge we have gained over years of studying English and apply it to YOUR test!! You could, like, NOT be more UNFAIR Prof English!! You are the meanest Professor EVER! **foot stomp**

What do you mean "underline the complete subject" in your sample sentence?! If you don't knock it off, I'm going to TELL you where exactly you can put your infinitive! (You crazy English profs need to stop foaming at the mouth from excitement....yer keyboard is going to short out.)

Prof English!!! What are you doing?? You give us the sentence: Each of my two sons required two chances to pass their drivers test. I don't WANNA identify two mistakes!! And please, please, please don't ask me to re-write it. (Oh yeah, he asked.)

Then you tell us: A young man living in Oh-Ho, Korea is a bright student he got accepted at the university of Pennsylvania. Well, la dee da for him Prof English!!! I don't care that there are BLATANT mistakes in that sentence. (Mistakes that are making my eye twitch and were painful to type...I can only IMAGINE the pain for him!) No! I'm NOT gonna list the verbs. There is no way you're going to make me list all the adjectives. AND I AM CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO RE-WRITE!!! STOP ASKING!

Sheesh....professors these days.



*Editor's Note: Personally, I LOVE grammar! I was SOOOO excited to see this section on the test. These are what I like to call "Gimme Points"...gimme the points so I can go home!

The One That has That Song a.k.a.The One that Makes You Gag

My Dream Guy....

Hates wearing hats
Lover of Christ
No swearing
Good looking....okay, he's gotta be freakin' HOT!
Good kisser
Holds doors
Puts his hand in the small of my back
Calls me by my pet name in private
Calls me by my pet name in front of his friends
Cooks dinner if he's the first one home
Gives me The Look when I've crossed the line
Thinks I’m sexy
Holds me like I'm going to break
Listens while I cry, laugh, jabber, gossip, think, meditate, word vomit, debate, throw a tantrum
Shares my values
Plays with my hair while we watch football
Plays along like he's upset when MY TEAM SPANKS HIS TEAM!!! BOO YEAH! (*ahem* 'scuse me)
Thinks similarly but not exactly the same
Is organized
Cares about my baby sister
Holds my hand in public
Pulls out chairs
Calls me to know I got home safely
Knows when I'm PMS-ing....but doesn't tell me he knows
Good with money
Isn't afraid to tell me NO!
Compassionate
Is F-ing HILARIOUS!!
Is Polite
Has baggage that goes well with mine
Respects my mother
Honors my father
Sticks to convictions
Can be counted on
Lets me know he's annoyed just by saying, "Babe." in That voice
Is outgoing
Has shoulders that make me go weak in the knees.....and drool
People person
Doesn’t mind that I fart around him
Hates shopping...but loves buying me things
Doesn't get TOO annoyed when I interrupt b/c I get so excited
Treats me like his soul mate
Lets me snuggle him all night
CLEANS THE BATHROOM!!!!
Has eyes that read me like a book
Likes board games
Is adored by every woman over the age of 40 that's ever met him
Can admit when he's wrong...in a timely fashion
Is a gentleman
Almost killed his best friend because he made me cry
Hates piercings...on guys
Has had life kick him in the teeth and picked himself back up
Likes girly girls
Is so familiar to me I can't imagine life without him
Contains so many mysteries, I can't wait to start a new day with him
Thinks I’m hot
Believes I can do ANYTHING better than any other woman in the room...and tells me
Teaches me things about sports
Suffers from testosterone poisoning occasionally
Loves music
Doesn't grumble about shoveling snow, bringing cars around or taking out trash...much
Makes me cry....from sheer happiness
Has integrity
Makes me laugh so hard I do the "I Gotta Pee" dance
Plays the piano
Plays the guitar
Likes it when I play with his hair
Gives foreheard kisses
Wants marriage and kids
Can't keep his hands to himself ;-)
Likes my family
Loves me BECAUSE of my past
Is willing to give me his whole heart to love and cherish
Doesn't have to be asked to remove the EWW! NASTY! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF! tomato from my salad.
Calls me Dingle
Thinks I’m too adorable for words
Reads my journaling
Has a heart for others' suffering
Hugs me in front of my parents
Treats all women like he treats his mother and sisters
Is a big nerd...and is okay with that
Teaches me the CORRECT lyrics to a song and does it in a NICE way
Laughs AT me...while he's laughing WITH me
Never misses a birthday (or Valentine’s Day or the Anniversary....of Our First Kiss)
Can't go a DAY without talking to me



**sigh** That's all I can think of right now. I'm not sure if I quite expressed it, but I know I'm the LUCKIEST girl in world. I justhope he knows how much I appreciate him. In my eyes he is the king of the world. He is my protector, my champion, my hero, my rolemodel, my best friend, my lover and the love of my life.....and I wouldn't want it any other way.


Happy anniversary Buppy, Lubby, Handsome, Baby, Grumpy Pants, Boy, Sweetheart, Special Man Friend!

The One in Which I Get a Gift and Post a Retraction

Let's start with the retraction. I would like to take back ANY negative editorial comments I MAY have made about a certain English class I will be taking this semester. Leave it to Tiny Christian University to blow past my low expectations and deliver, once again, a wonderful class and dynamic professor to go along with it.

During my illustrious college career I have been in some version of ENG 111 a total of three times (clearly my LESS THAN illustrious grades dictated that I try, try again). This class is a requirement in every secondary institution across the country and it has standard assignments: The Persuasive Argument, The Bibliography, The Research Paper, The Letter, and The Autobiographical/Personal/"I"/Favorite Memory Story.

Wow. Thrilling. And let me tell you, learning the critical elements, proper structure, syntax, and purpose for each is so exciting that at times, I've been moved to tears.....TEARS OF BOREDOM!!! Dear god in heaven!

So why not get the required "C" grade needed to pass the class and have it count for graduation? BECAUSE I GET SO BORED I STOP GOING TO CLASS! I lose my desire to willingly subject myself to that sort of punishment and by that time it's so far past the deadline to drop, I figure I'm screwed anyway so I just stop attending. (I know. I know. My logic is seriously flawed but we're not discussing that in THIS blog!)

BUT!! I have reached ENG 111 Nirvana. The curriculum, although identical to the one I described above, has been re-written to apply to modern situations and applications. The Letter?? It's been changed to, "The Proper Letter AND Formal Email". The Bibliography? It's been re-vamped to include a one day lab that will help us learn how to evaluate whether or not a website or search engine is reliable AND how to document them properly.

AND THERE'S MORE! The prof is dynamic, and corny, and realistic, and demands deeper thinking and reflection, and is in touch with what is going on in the real world. It is so refreshing to have a professor that cares about not only his subject but his students' success as well. Not only that, but he walked into the classroom and told us he was going to give us a gift.

YAY!! PRESENTS!! I like him already.

Normally the first day of a class is best described as the "Square-Off and Spar" class. The students walk into the first class expecting two things, a thorough explanation of the syllabus (including, but not limited to, "How do I get an A?", "What happens if I don't show up?" and "How much is everything worth?"). They also expect to NOT have to write down a SINGLE note or lesson pertaining to that class. Our demands our simple and if not met, professors can expect lots of blank stares and awkward silences.

Professors (I think) approach the first class meeting a little differently. They want to finally put faces to the list of names they've had for a month now (and see if their mental images match with the actual images) AND they want to establish who has the control and how the classroom is going to run for the rest of the semester. Simple enough.

Professor English deviated from the plan! Sure he met our expectations, but by the end of the class he had students scrambling to borrow notebook paper from their neighbors because they had run out of room in the margins of the syllabus for all that he was saying to us. He had us answering questions!! He pushed us to fish for words, to struggle to describe thoughts and ideas, and demanded we think more critically than our foggy After Break brains would normally allow.

HE ACTUALLY TAUGHT ON THE FIRST DAY OF CLASS!!!! eep! :-0

The thing is, he did it so slowly and covertly that it caught most of us totally by surprise. I had a notebook open just because it's a habit and because it provides prime doodling space when the lecture turns dry. By the time the sound of students leaving classrooms reached my ears, I had taken a page and a half of notes! Granted he was only talking about how to effectively read a book, but I was so fascinated by his simple helpful tips, I would have been an idiot not to write anything down.

He took 10 of the 75 minutes to walk through the syllabus, and spent the other hour teaching. He taught us how to annotate, read actively, and gave us the lecture points needed to complete our first assignment. It all happened so fast!!

While we began filing out of the classroom, I heard a classmate say, "You didn't give us our gift!". Professor English just said, "Yes I did."

And yeah, he did.

The Sass is Back!

HI!!! Remember me?!? Yeah...I'm still here. I was throttled with some big life changes lately and have been recovering ever since. In short, I was in a whirlwind, now I'm out and HERE I AM...ready to blog. So! Let's get started.


If you want a good test for a possible life partner, travel together. Ummmm....yeah. Wow! It can be wonderfully eye-opening. (I don't mean for this to sound so negatively foreshadowing! Special Man Friend and I are still going strong and quite happy.)

This Christmas he and I spent the holidays with his family in Georgia. It was my first experience with his extended family and also my first EXTENDED stay in The ATL! Let me tell ya'll...I wanna live in the south. Except for the fact that my Midwest Farmer's Daughter accent was quite the novelty and if I had to say the words "pajamas", "Georgia", "soda", and "syrup" one more time I was going to throw grits at someone!

We arrived on the 27th and stayed till the 1st. (We were supposed to leave on the 31st but more on that later.) It didn't take either of us long to figure out that we traveled well together. He schlepped and I walked along looking pretty...it was a wonderful arrangement. ;-)

It was also quickly established that I was "Hold This" girl. Baggage claim tickets, state id's, boarding passes, snacks for the plane, reading materials and other miscellaneous travel necessities were silently handed over his right shoulder with the implication that I was to "Hold This". (Which is fine because I was the one with the newly purchased, oh-so-adorable carry-on bag.)

Anyway....we finally reached ATL and I quickly fell in love. The weather, the houses, the history, the fact that every freaking street is called Peachtree...it was all so wonderful.

Our first stop was the home of SMF's grandparents. They come from old Southern ("properly" pronounced it sound like Suh-thuhn rather than my tendency to say Su-thERRRRn...I come from a city that LOOOOOVES to chew its consonants.)

Mr. and Mrs. Special Man Friend were the ones I was actually most worried about meeting. SMF is their first grandson and by far their favorite. The list of girls deemed worthy of SMF is notoriously short and entries include, Mrs. Special Man Friend herself, SMF's first girlfriend Closet Psycho Bitch, and the Virgin Mary. So I knew going in I was being held to some pretty unrealistic standards. The family joke is that the only reason Mother Theresa is not on the list is because she's Catholic. So...yeah, I was more than a little intimidated.

But after a few rounds of questions that made the Spanish Inquisition look like a friendly chat while drinking tea and eating finger sandwhiches, I was given the "Silent Nod". If an answer to a question was 'correct' there was a tandem Silent Nod from the Grandparents. I received a grand total of 13 Silent Nods!! According to SMF's sister, this is unheard of and I was lucky to escape the house without a ring on my finger. The Grandparents even called SMF to let him know how impressed with me they were. SMF was thrilled and I think secretly I made it through a VERY important hoop.

The day before we left, The Grandparents hosted a Christmas get-together with SMF's paternal cousins in attendance. This group was much more laid back and easy to get along with. They seemed happy to see us together and I was excited to finally meet some of the people SMF grew up with.

Our next stop on The ATL tour was SMF's Older Sis's house. She was thrilled to meet me and admitted that she checked my MySpace page frequently to get a better idea of "that girl SMF is seeing". She and her family are loud, out going and just generally fun people. I had a blast hanging out with SMF's nieces and Younger Sis. He treated all us girls to a showing of Happy Feet where the girls got to share goofy stories of SMF's childhood and he and I found out what's happening on the High School Girl's social scene.

And last but not least, I met SMF's mother. She is a very sweet, good-hearted person. Her book knowledge is lacking but her genuine caring for others is evident. She'll be the first to admit that she wasn't the best mother but she's changing some ways.

SMF is thoroughly pleased with how much his family liked me. For months he had been assuring me that they would love me, but I think even he was unsure. When we were on the plane on the way back, he told me some of the favorite things they asked him about me.

"Is she always so sweet?" (No...I just smell that way! ;-))
"Does she always dress so nice?" (Yeah I try to but there are definitely days I spend in sweats.)
"How does she get her hair so straight and shiny?" (It's called Matrix sleek look Sealing Serum!)
"Does she have sisters?" (Hahaha!! Yes, but we couldn't be MORE different if we tried.)
"Will she let me be a bridesmaid?" (Ummm....we'll see.)
"Has she REALLY never committed a crime?" (Apparently I look TOO innocent...I told you his Grandparents were a little unrealistic!)


All in all it was a success. I'm glad to be back. I've moved back to Tiny Christian University and we had our first day of classes today. On my plate I have:
Cognitive Behavioral Psychology
Concert Choir
Understanding the New Testament
Intro to Health and Wellness (affectionately termed Wealth and Hellness)
Critical Thinking and Writing (please stick bamboo shoots under my nails...it would be waaaay more appealing than taking this class!!!)
Research Methods and Design
1-hr Private Voice Lessons

As you can see, I have more than enough to keep me out of trouble. I should tell SMF to let The Grandparents know that I don't even have TIME to commit a felony and they can rest easy...for now!