I'm A REAL Update

Well, you know how it goes. Life throws you a curve ball and you duck, fall on the ground, and lay there stunned for a while. Thankfully the curve ball wasn't necessarily BAD just...different.

First off, I am LOVING my job. The first two weeks were a little rough while I settled into the idea of not being as mentally stimulated as I would like to be at my work. When the oldest person you talk to during the day has only begun exploring the concept of complete sentences in the last twenty-four months, your job CAN BE a little under-stimulating! However, I have finally settled in and am now loving my days with those wee ones.

The two-year old is still cracking me up. Just the other day she walked up to me with her finger up her nose and told me, "Cassie! I can't git it out!" And believe it or not, she wasn't talking about her finger! Rather, she was giving me an update on a stubborn booger she had been fishing out for the past hour. Right now I'm just hoping that this job won't permanently kill any desires I may have had for children of my own. I also have a new found respect for stay-at-home Moms!!! (Oh my goodness, I don't think I have the mental strength to do it.) We'll see if that changes when they're my own!

As far as my living situation is concerned, I'm still at home with the parents. And truly hating every minute of it! In fact, just today I had a little power tussle with my Dad when he stuck his head in my door and asked if I was going to, "leave that bed" any time today. "Of course Dad! When I leave at 6:00 tonight to go to small group." was NOT the answer he was looking for apparently. (I happen to get Thursdays and Fridays off from the job. The family hired a part-time girl to work those days.) It makes my parents nuts that on my "weekends" I'd rather just slug around.

HOWEVER!!!! I may have a lead on a possible apartment. The guy my sister nannies with on the other side of town, is looking for a roomie! In fact, his rent would be $100 cheaper than the rent I'm paying here at my parents'. He and I have become fast friends over the past three months and we could totally live with one another and not want to slit our wrists.

There is only ONE huge obstacle to this possible arrangement.
"You're secretly in love with him?" you ask. Nope! Totally platonic.
"He's a total slob?" No way! Neat as a pin.
"Well then he's a total womanizer and you'll have to deal with his revolving front door!" Actually Sam is a perfect gentleman and is between relationships right now.

So what's the problem? He has a cat!!! And while I am nearly perfect in every way, I do happen to have a severe sensitivity to cat dander. Plus...I hate cats; HIS cat in particular! I have been over to his place numerous times and my allergy meds can head off the WORST symptoms (still some eye itchiness) but his cat is an asshole! We have a mutual hate for one another. In fact, the very first time I EVER visited, the cat shit in my shoe!!!! Not joking...little steaming cat turds were in my shoe. It's been all downhill since then. I've tried feeding it, giving it treats, speaking nicely and petting it. All these attempts have been greeted by hissing, scratching, biting and I was sprayed once.

Sam is completely bewildered. Apparently Shithead usually LOVES girls! He has loved every one of Sam's exes and has never acted this hostile ever in his life. Sam adopted this cat as a kitten from the litter Sam's parents' cats had a little over a year ago. Ironically, Sam's parents' cats LOVE me! (We went over there just to test and see if there was any "genetic" linking to the Cassie hatred. There wasn't.) I jokingly asked Sam if he could trade Shithead for one of the Nice cats from his parents and once again I was hissed at and bit....this time it was Sam. So, right now my moving out is in a holding pattern....because of a cat!

Lastly, an update on the love life. For a while there I was having a little fun with a doctor friend of mine from church but I was really only dating him for the free food and to have a standing date on the weekends. He, on the other hand, was looking for something much more serious so we parted ways. I am just not ready to be anyone's girlfriend! (I am enjoying my freedom.)

There was also a change on the Ex-Special Man Friend front. Ever since he and I had called it quits back in October, we promised to remain "just friends". Sexually it was really easy to do because we are zillions of miles apart from one another, but emotionally, you don't just go from lovers to friends in one phone call. We were still talking everyday. He was still the first person I called whenever something big happened in my life and I was still his most trusted sounding board for all that was going on in his life.

So, on April 1, I decided to take a 90-day hiatus from all communication with him. I told him I needed to get my heart back! He was such an enormous part of my life that when he left for Virginia I felt like I was left with only half of myself...and not the good half! He agreed and we haven't spoken since. It has been incredibly weird not to talk to him everyday. For the first couple days I erased hundreds of text messages that I started out of habit. I found falling asleep almost impossible without my nightly tucking in phone call from him. I still shed some tears over the hole that's in my life right now but that hole will naturally fill-in as I continue to fill my life with new friends, new challenges and new adventures.

I have so much to look forward to I find myself getting up in the morning ANTICIPATING the things on the horizon. I am so very blessed (asshole cats and over-bearing parents aside). All in all, I am very much in love with my life right now. Could I imagine myself in a different life with different choices being made and with SMF still in it? Absolutely! Those images are never far from my imagination. But would I WANT that life? I can honestly say, no. And that's the point! I love my life just as it is and I can't wait to see what's in store around the next corner.

So take that, Life! Pitch all the curve balls you want...this girl will ALWAYS get back up to bat.

Life Is Too Nutty For a REAL Update, SO Sorry!

1) What is your salad dressing of choice?
If it's winter time and I'm looking for something creamy I'm a French/Catalina kinda girl. In the summer it's any sort of vinaigrette that comes my way.

2) What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
I love our upscale Japanese place here in town, JMK Nippon.

3) What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Anything pasta shaped with marinara.

4) What are your pizza toppings of choice?
All veggies except mushrooms and olives OR pineapple and ham.

5) What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and jam....Smucker's Strawberry Preserves

6) How many televisions are in your house?
An embarrassing amount actually, 5!! We have a 1:1 ratio of tvs to occupants.

7) What color cell phone do you have?
An all black Razor

8 ) Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

9) Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Hahahahaha!!!! Tonsils, a couple of cysts, bone spurs/fragments, a gall bladder, a baby, a button from my nose at age 4, and a fishbone from the back of my throat at age 9......and a partridge in a pear tree!

10) What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A four year old.

11) Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Yup; in a horseback riding competition when the horse refused to jump but my body didn't. I woke up flat on my back, staring into the nostrils of my mother, my trainer and two REALLY hot paramedics.

12) If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Nope.

14) Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Uh no!

15) How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Upwards of 12. (Damn you Old Navy and your cheap flippies!)

16) What’s your goal for the year?
Oh lord! Not killing any family members.....and moving out as soon as possible in order to prevent it.

17) Last person you talked to?
The Baby Sis who left for Turks and Caicos today with the family SHE nannies for!!! (I totally picked the wrong family.)

18) Last person you hugged?
A choir member after we finished singing a benefit concert tonight.

19) Favorite Season?
Fall.

20) Favorite Holiday?
My Birthday!!! Just kidding.....Christmas.

21) Favorite day of the week?
Sunday!

22) Favorite Month?
September

23) First place you went this morning?
My job.

24) What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?
Sunshine Cleaning, last night actually! (Totally recommend it!!!)

25) Do you smile often?
ABSOLUTELY!!! It's one of the first things most people comment on.

26) Do you always answer your phone?
Nope! I'm a hard core screener. I owe A LOT of people money. HAHAHAHAHA!!! No, but seriously, I do.

27) It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Oh lord.....do want the list alphabetically or chronologically?

28) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Very light blue.

29) What flavor drink do you get at Sonic?
We have NO Sonics in the near vicinity but if we EVER do get one, I want any one of those icy neon looking things!!! (We still get their commericials which is just cruel!)

30) Have you ever had a pet fish?
Nope....only pets of the four legged furry variety.

31) Favorite Christmas song?
Carol of the Bells by any group that can do it well.

32) What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
A new black cashmere V-neck sweater! Mine FINALLY retired after this past winter.

33) Can you do push ups?
Uh, no.

34) Can you do a chin up?
MAYBE if a pack of ravenous lions were after me but even then I'd still pause to consider which would be more painful.

35) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited....very, very excited.

36) Do you have any saved texts?
NO!!!! I sent and received 6200 last month ALONE!!!! I don't have enough memory to save texts.

37) Ever been in a car wreck?
Yup, a semi-truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and ended up driving OVER my itsy, bitsy Chevy Corsica on the highway. I didn't drive for a YEAR after that!

38) Do you have an accent?
Hard core Chicagoan right here baby!

39) What is the last song to make you cry?
The Hallelujah Chorus at the end of the benefit concert tonight actually!

40) Plans tonight?
No. In fact, I'm falling asleep as I type this.

41) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Absolutely. I'm glad I did it at a VERY young age. I will NEVER go back there again!

42) Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Sushi, a movie ticket, and a round of beers!

43) Have you ever been given roses?
Multiple times for numerous reasons.

44) Current hate right now?
Hate does HORRENDOUS things to your skin..... not to mention your life expectancy. I avoid it all costs.

45) Met someone who changed your life?
I do so frequently actually.

46) How did you ring in the New Year?
Doing shots with my baby sister.....she turned 21 this year. However, we had to round up that night!

47) What song represents you?
Francesca Battestelli's Free to Be Me.

48) What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Sitting at Old Chicago chillin' with the crew.

49) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I should NOT have had that last drink!

Spring Has Sprung.....Though Not Quite As High Because of The Extra Weight

Today I have officially begun my Spring Cleaning Madness. I am in complete denial that there is still a probability that the Midwest could see snow. I will ignore this fact and proceed full throttle with all things Spring. (I am even tempting the weather gods further by buying a new Easter dress!)

Today will be spent swapping out my winter bedding (good riddance fleece blanket and flannel sheets) for my pretty cotton sheets and then it will be time to reorganize the closet and reset the configuration for the spring wardrobe.

Yesterday I spent the day trying on and washing the spring duds. And let me just say that the 'trying on' part was VERY trying! It has been a looooooooooooooooooong winter. I shudder to think that I have managed to plump up one whole size since the last time I wore my favorite floral skirt! I think the frigid temperatures along with the termination of my relationship with Special Man Friend resulted in my doubling the carb loading efforts this winter.

So starting today, I'm eating HEALTHIER. I think that has been my main problem lately.....well, and also quantity. My biggest downfall so far has been the temptation to finish what the kids are leaving behind everyday for lunch! I also have myself so tightly scheduled in the evenings, I convince myself that the only way I'll be able to eat is if I eat fast food. I just have to re-discipline myself about using my time more wisely in the evenings so I can manage a healthy meal AND still get the things done that I have planned. I will also be getting into an exercise routine. A friend from church also wants to get in shape and she and I have created a work-out plan that we're going to accomplish together.

It's not so much that I think I'm FAT, it's just that lately I've been thinking more about my body being a temple. We only get one body in this life and I have not been taking care of mine lately!! Also, while I am not on the market right now, I will someday want new worshipers at this temple...if you catch my drift. So right now I'm hanging a "Please Excuse Our Dust While We Remodel" sign and the maintenance crew and I are gonna do some SERIOUS overhaulin'!

The New Job.

Well, things at the job have been going quite well. The family I am working for is great. I'm watching the kids of two sisters. Three total kids all 4 and under. If the wackadoo sister-in-law brings over her two it suddenly jumps to FIVE kids all 4 and under!!!!! That's when things get REALLY nuts.

Of course I know I'm not supposed to, but I have a favorite!! The two year old melts my heart. Curly Sue is precious beyond belief and super smart.

Here are some of my favorite moments with her:

On a walk with all the kids:
Curly Sue (holding my hand): Cassie, why do you do that to your sleeves?
Cassie (pushing my sleeves up to my elbow): I don't know. I just don't like them down by my hands.
Curly Sue: You're so silly! Wear clothes with short sleeves! I have a Princess shirt with short sleeves. You want it?

In the living room:
Curly Sue (handing me my cell phone): CASSIE!!! I FOUND YOUR PHONE AGAIN!!! Why do you keep dropping it?
Cassie: I don't drop it, it falls out of the pocket on my jeans.
Curly Sue: Oh. Well, here. (shoves phone down my shirt) Now it won't fall out.


Those are only my favorites from TODAY! I'll be sure to keep you all updated. This kid is going to make GREAT blog fodder.

The Recap

So! I went on a date last night with That Guy From Church. He's super sweet, fresh outta the military and funny as hell!

That Guy has to be the MOST interesting person I've met in a long time. He took me to a swanky local eatery where we had the Chef's Tasting menu!! DELISH! Then it was off to Cirque where I just sat with my mouth open the entire time. They were AMAZING! That Guy really worked his ass off on this date (not to mention dropping some SERIOUS bank...but I try not to judge on that alone). Every door was opened for me and he pulled out my chair. He even stood when I left the table to use the Ladies Room!!!!

Final Thoughts:

1) It was really, Really, REALLY good! Dinner, conversation, company, show.....all good!

2) I got a good-night kiss!!

3) The guy's hooked! I had an email this morning and he called me on his lunch break to find out what I was doing next weekend. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! He's completely gaga.

Dating is so much fun! How could I have forgotten??? It's nice to know that even after 3 years of being off the market, I still got game! ;-) HA!

However, I have decided that I'm not looking for ANYTHING long-term right now. I want to date around and see what's out there. Some dinners, a few movies and maybe theater tickets are the only things I'm ready to commit to right now. If this guy's lookin' for a MRS. he's barkin' up the wrong tree. I'm just going to ride this out and see where things go.

Coming up this weekend? Tonight I'm taking the Little Bro to a Family Night event at my church. Tomorrow I'm going to his All-City Lutheran Church League CHAMPIONSHIP basketball game and then havin' a movie night with Baby Sis. Sunday is traditionally Forced Family Fun Day, so who knows what torture awaits?! Then come Monday it's off to my latest and greatest adventure.....FULL-TIME NANNY!!!

Later Taters! Have a wonderful weekend.

The One With All The Dates

Date Scenario #1:

Monday found me walking around the mall with my good girlfriend, Blondie, from church. While we're meandering through Macy's, Blondie's cell phone rings. I assume it's her Dr. Fiance making sure she's not spending his ENTIRE year's salary so I wander further away. All of a sudden I hear her giving out MY cell phone number. I rush over trying to get a sense for why she's giving out my number to her fiance but she's just hanging up when I get to her.

Cass: WTF, mate?
Blondie: That was Dr. Fiance. He needed your cell phone number b/c A Guy from Church wanted it.
Cass: Interesting!!

Fast forward about 35 minutes. My cell phone starts ringing and it's a number I don't recognize. Blondie checks my caller ID and tells me to go ahead and answer it.

Cass: Hello?
That Guy from Church: Hey, Cass? This is That Guy.
Cass: Hey. What's up?
That Guy: Not a whole lot but I just bought these two tickets for Cirque du Soleil on Thursday. I was hoping you'd be my date.
Cass: *stunned silence*
That Guy: Hello?
Cass: Yup, yeah, uhhhhh. Yeah, that would be great!
That Guy: Great! I'll pick you up at quarter to six so we can get some dinner before the show.
Cass: Okay! Sure! Yeah! See you then!
That Guy: Okay, bye.

Needless to say, Blondie made fun of the face I made after he asked me for about 45 minutes. She described it as "ecstatic horror"!


Date Scenario #2: This is the one that confuses me. I mean, it's not REALLY a date, right?

It's Sunday after church and The Crew is trying to figure out where we wanna go for lunch.

Cass: I'm not picky as long as it's cheap! I'm broke and I don't wanna borrow cash....again.
Blondie: Let's do Steak and Shake then. You can just order a Coke and we'll get fries for the table for you to nibble on.
Cass: Sounds good to me. I'll be in charge of organizing who's going in which car. Just let me know who all is going.

*Move to other side of room where Dr. Fiance is chattin' with some of the guys from The Crew*
**And this part of the convo is sort of made up....I wasn't really there to hear it but Blondie filled me in on the details later**

Dr. Fiance: So, Dr. #2 are you going with us to lunch?
Dr. #2: No. I feel like crap. I think it's a sinus infection.
Dr. Fiance: That's fine we're not really going anywhere fancy; just Steak and Shake on Main St. You could just stop by for a little bit if you want. Let Cass know if you wanna carpool.
Dr. #2: Cass is going? I guess I could bop in for a bit.

*Fast forward to lunch* Dr. #2 has seated himself across from me and is monopolizing all of my attention....not that I was complaining! He's REALLY cute.

Dr. #2: Cass, aren't you going to order lunch?
Cass: No, just a Coke and I'll munch on the fries for the table.
Dr. #2: That's ridiculous! Just order something. I've got it.
Cass: No, really. It's okay. I'm fine.
Dr. #2: Seriously, my treat! Get whatever you want.
Cass: Well, if you're sure. Fine.

Lunch is great and Dr. #2 and I spend the rest of the time getting to know one another. However...

Cass: Why aren't you eating??
Dr.#2: To be honest, I feel like crap. I have a horrible head cold and everything just takes like paper.
Cass: Awww! I hate that! If you feel so bad why don't you head out.
Dr. #2: No, that's alright. I'll leave when the group does.

Lunch and conversations continue. But poor Dr.#2 starts to look just awful! His eyes are watering and I can tell his sinuses are killing him. Finally, The Crew wraps up and we all head to the register.

Dr. #2 pays for his lunch and mine. I thank him profusely. He tells me it's not a problem and that he looks forward to seeing me on Thursday night for small group.

Later that evening on the phone, Blondie fills in the missing details about how Dr. #2 wasn't really going to show up until he heard that I was going to be there.

INTERESTING!!!! Could this be the quiet, underwhelming beginning to a parade?!?!?!?

Ten Things Tuesday

Things I Have Discovered/REdiscovered About Myself Since Breaking Up with SMF


1) I love being out with people. Special Man Friend was a hardcore homebody! In the three years we were dating I completely forgot what it was like to go out and socialize in groups of people. I totally lost touch with some long-time friends but they have since forgiven me for ditching them for a guy and we're all caught back up and havin' a gay ole time together.

2) I am obsessed with Lady Gaga's album! ("Just Dance" is on REPEAT on my iTunes....as I type!) Due to the fact that he was a church musician, SMF was not totally up to date with the latest tunes hittin' the radiowaves. I realized he and I were doomed when I was condemned for rocking out to Britney's "Womanizer" vid when she was making her comeback last year! HE MADE ME GIVE UP ON BRIT!!!!! Obviously he HAD to go.

3) While I'm not a hardcore partier by any stretch of the imagination, occasionally I do like to head out with the (newly legal!) Baby Sis and have a Penis-Free good time at some local establishments. SMF was so staunchly against barhopping of any kind, I promptly became a born-again tea-totaler when we started dating. I knew what I was giving up beforehand; he made it very clear on date #1. And with my struggles with alcohol BARELY behind me, I figured the sacrifice was more than appropriate. But now that I have the self-respect to have self-control, I find going out with Baby Sis is really notta problem.

4) I get exactly what I want. While SMF whined, cried, begged, pouted, pestered and withheld sex, all in an attempt to "teach me a lesson", I still somehow managed to get exactly what I wanted. Half of the time it was because SMF realized that he was just being ridiculous and doing those things merely to annoy me. The other half of the time I just put my mind to it and persevered. The EXACT car I wanted??? Bought it for cash. My engraved iPod? Picked up a couple extra baby-sitting gigs and paid cash. The classic Tiffany toggle bracelet? Cash. So while I may have expensive tastes, I get exactly what I want. (And if I happen to be dating a guy who's willing to buy those things???? YAY!)

5) I have worked harder than I have ever before in my life and loved it! After SMF called it quits and before I found myself forcibly unemployed, I had a job I LOVED!!!! It was a position that came out of the blue and I stepped into it scared shitless that I was going to muck it up horribly! I worked harder at that job than I had EVER worked in my life. I worked 52+ hours a week and woke every morning itching to get back on the clock! Before that I had been so focused on "building a life" with SMF that I would have NEVER considered taking the position because of all the time and energy it would have taken from our relationship. I shudder to think...

6)I'm still worried that I'm not going to find THE ONE. However, it's no longer something that consumes my every thought. I was so worried, when SMF and I were dating and seriously discussing marriage, that I had somehow managed to miss my one true love. (I guess that should have been a HUGE hint that I wasn't ready to settle down.)

7) I am not as emotionally secure as I once felt I was. (Please forgive the bad grammar in the previous statement. In the Chi-town area, ending a sentence with a preposition is TOTALLY kosher....just roll with it!) My self-confidence and sense of security were greatly shaken when SMF announced that we should "really think about where we're headed as a couple". I can't say that it was TOTALLY out of the blue but I had done an effing good job of suppressing any inklings of doubt in our relationship.

8) I didn't realize how much I missed RAISINS!!! Their wrinkly little presences were forbidden to even cross the threshold of SMF's apartment. Oatmeal raisin cookies? No! Raisin Bran? Get the fuck out! Now that I have those little suckers back in my life, I am more thrilled (and regular) than I have been for the last three years.

9) I like screening my calls. During our relationship, if I ever missed his call (aka I ignored it b/c I was too wrapped up in my CSI/Will & Grace/Chelsea Lately episode) SMF would FREAK THE FUCK OUT! The boy acted like being forced to leave a voicemail was the highest form of degradation a person could ever be subjected to. Now when my cell rings I take great pleasure in making the caller leave a voicemail.....just because I can! I particularly love making SMF leave a voicemail when he's calling to "check-in and see how things are going" (aka brag about how much sex he's having with his newest love interest).

10) I don't need a guy in my life to feel fulfilled as a woman. I wish I felt this way 24/7/365, but I'm not there yet. I would say I'm at 22/6.5/300. I am building myself up slowly but surely. To help my effort, I've decided to keep a copy of this Ten Things list on paper in my purse and every time I'm out and think of something that fits this category, I am going to jot it down. No matter how insignificant the item may seem, every time I recognize something, I want myself to see how well off I really am!